The Power of Kindness Is Being Discovered

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Spirit of Acuto Transformational Leadership Award 2010 Recipient Intro

Easter, life and death

In my early second trimester, 29 years ago today, I lost a child I was carrying.  This day, 29 years ago, is also when I had,what is called by most, the 'near death' experience. Since that time I have learned that the description of my experience is really similar to many others- the light, the questioning if I was ready, the presence of two people waiting for me - but, I have also learned that while the circumstances are similar each person's response is really uniquely their own.  This year the anniversary seems more poignant as it also falls on Easter. Easter, I have learned, has circumstances similar for most, is also very different for each person according to his/her response.  I hope that by sharing my view that others are encouraged to think about their own responses - to both Easter and life.

I still mourn the child I will never hold, but treasure the thought of their being.
Our life offers many rehearsals with series of small deaths and mini-rebirths.
Death isn't the end
Birth is only one beginning
Life holds both and is much more than either
We are really so loved

The Political Playground

The lives of many have been forever changed this weekend. The tragedy in Tucson reaches across the nation. Many are recognizing the need to end the extreme political rhetoric and renew our country's commitment to civil discourse, the core value of a strong democracy.  My son, Thomas Danler, and I were discussing how society can begin this shift. He offered the following example he had given to his eleven year old son.

There will always be people at opposite sides just like on a teeter totter. That is why it is very important that the people who make up the fulcrum are strong. The fulcrum has to be solid and of high integrity in order for the teeter totter to balance the opposite ends.

His explanation made me realize that I don't have to just hope that the "extremes" tone down their rhetoric. I can renew my commitment as an actively involved citizen. I can encourage all those who are also part of the wide fulcrum to remain stable, solid, and of high integrity. The role of the balancing fulcrum is more important during these times of polarizing stances.  Offering an opposing extreme view as an answer to another extreme only creates a false sense of balance which is easily toppled. A stable fulcrum of high integrity will move our country forward.

Making dreams come true?

With all the generous charity drives being promoted during this holiday season, I don't want to discourage the much needed efforts, but I do wonder 'who is really giving and who is receiving?' I ponder the first Christmas and how kings and paupers alike brought what they could to the poor homeless family staying in a manger. They each brought presents but they still knew they were the ones being gifted. When I hear reports that the toys, food, and blankets are 'making dreams come true' I fear that it may be forgotten what a beautiful gift we are given when our charity acts are received. How blessed are those who recognize Christ among the society-labeled poor and how small in comparison are the gift of toys, food, and blanket to being able to share in recognizing the miracle of love today.

Happy Wreck Day

My father died almost eight years ago, but it was 53 years ago today that he was involved in a serious accident. He was a young man in his early thirties. He spent several months in the hospital and the doctors didn't expect him to live. He baffled all the medical profession by then refusing to die, so they challenged him again with this question: "Your injuries to your hip were so great that we have to fuse it - you need to tell us whether you want to sit or stand for the rest of your life. What do you choose?" My father responded, "I want to stand so I can look the world in the eye."

And that he did. Each year after, he made us kids and mom wish him "Happy Wreck Day" because he explained, it was this day that he was forced to make a decision: In the time of adversity one finds out who they are and decides who they want to be. Dad decided that he wanted to stand by his wife and nine children... Nine kids all under the age of thirteen - I can't imagine what it was like for Mom and Dad. But I do know, they gave me a great gift by offering this unique view of life, where you look the world in the eye and only you decide, not fate or circumstance, who it is that the world is looking back at - only you decide who you are now and who you will be.

The truth of that view I have witnessed daily, there is no harm or misfortune that can ever take that decision from you. We decide and take each challenge as the opportunity to reevaluate and reaffirm who we are. Thanks, Dad, we miss you, but still today, thank you for teaching us to celebrate "Happy Wreck Day."

Trapped in the Economic Cave-in for too long

It seems to me that the rescuing of the miners trapped for so long is analogous to so many who have been trapped in the hole of this recession: We were all just doing our work when suddenly the world caved in around us -we know there is life going on above us (we read of the tremendous profits and bonuses that large finance/investment companies are receiving) but somehow we are trapped in this dark hole. Perhaps, the miners will inspire us all and give us hope, perhaps this recession that is officially over will soon reach the depths of the cave that has held so many captive for too long. Too much time has been spent telling those who are trapped in this economic cave-in, what they should have done to prevent it or just throwing them day-to-day survival support. When what we need to do is to concentrate on providing a “phoenix” to raise those economically trapped into the sunlight. They, too, deserve, to be lifted out of the hole and onto solid ground.

The Award is in those I am privileged to work along side (click for link)

It is an honor to serve the Arizona Supreme Court through working at the Arizona Foundation for Legal Services & Education. And, a privilege to work with the people I do - our board, staff, the courts, the State Bar, our volunteers, our grantees - each and all, strive for equal access to justice for Arizonans. Thank you so much for opportunity to work along side of you.

The Price of our three day weekend - July 4th

My husband just forwarded this email to me, and it is worth sharing... many men, women, and children paid a great price for this coming holiday...

Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men
who signed the Declaration of Independence ?

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors,
and tortured before they died.

Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned.
Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army;
another had two sons captured.

Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or
hardships of the Revolutionary War.

They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes,
and their sacred honor.

What kind of men were they?

Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists.
Eleven were merchants,
nine were farmers and large plantation owners;
men of means, well educated,
but they signed the Declaration of Independence
knowing full well that the penalty would be death if
they were captured.
Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and
trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the
British Navy. He sold his home and properties to
pay his debts, and died in rags.

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British
that he was forced to move his family almost constantly.
He served in the Congress without pay, and his family
was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him,
and poverty was his reward.

Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer,
Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.

At the battle of Yorktown , Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that
the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson
home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General
George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed,
and Nelson died bankrupt.

Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed.
The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.

John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying.
Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill
were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests
and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his
children vanished.
So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and
silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.

Remember: freedom is never free!
(author unknown)

Mothers' Day thoughts - The Greatest Gift

I have been blessed with enjoying life with ten children. Seven I gave birth to and three were the precious gift of my marriage. I love them each dearly. They are all just really good people with tremendous minds, hearts, and sense of humor. They are without a doubt the greatest gifts, my husband and I, could ever give or receive from this world. To the two kids that I lost before they were born, I lift my love and I am grateful to have had you with me, even for the short while you were here. To my mom, thank you for life and all the love you have given. To all mothers, I hope this day is just one which celebrates the gift you have given (and received) all the other days throughout the year! Happy Mothers' Day!

My son, Will, was musing this morning about women and shared,

"Girls love the Tin Man and the Scarecrow but never the Cowardly Lion."

Unintended Consequences

The government gave the banks large amounts of money to encourage lending and spur the economy. The large influx of funds, though, decreased the banks' need for deposits and thus, lowered the interest rates offered to the general public normally used to encourage increased deposits. Now, with the lower interest rates, the general public's funds are no longer generating interest - their money is not making them money. So, with this loss of income, people are being more careful about spending money. . . It makes me wonder how this was intended to work and where it went wrong.

Health Insurance Coverage

A news report recently stated that a great majority of uninsured adults are under 30 years of age. Wouldn't a large segment of this issue be resolved if the allowance for children to stay under their parents' health plan was expanded beyond the time in school? It seems that if we allowed children to be included under the parents' plan until they were able to secure their own health insurance, the solution would be simple. Why is health insurance eligibility tied to the IRS definition of dependent? Where is the correlation? Couldn't it be easily changed to have eligibility defined as (for example) -
in the last twelve years has been claimed as a dependent in at least two years consecutively - or, a natural, adopted, or stepchild covered under your health plan prior to reaching the age 18 and has not married, reached the age 30, and/or is not eligible under another group plan.

Or perhaps, we could encourage greater scope of school health insurance with an affiliate relationship offered to alumni.

I just wonder why it seems that national programs need to be developed without first just considering a simple solution within the system.

A Cultural Survey of Professions

Please add your 'view' to our current Professional Culture Research Study. The research team needs your help, click the following link and take this survey - it is under 10 minutes of your time and will assist many for years to come in understanding their work environment and understanding others.
https://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=TvROsJAT_2bSczKhaxe8z_2b3A_3d_3d

Let the Credits Roll

You worked all week and into the weekend on a project. You even had your staff working overtime. You present the finished work to your division head and are invited to attend the board meeting in case there are any questions when the project plan is reviewed. At the meeting you sit off to the side and wait. There are no questions but plenty of praise..all being given to the division head! Not one comment mentioned about your work or your team. You were robbed the opportunity to shine.

When you don't get the credit you deserve, realize that you are building your credibility as the expert and reputation as loyal. Thank your team in a separate meeting and let them know the good words about the project. Your expertise has been sharpened, your division head knows he/she needs you (even though it may not be admitted), and you have motivated your team with the praise they deserve. Don't mention who the Board credited.. let that roll.

Holiday Preparation

This morning after Thanksgiving I sit in my recliner stretching the morning for as many hours as possible. I watch the news reports and see the masses circling the stores in search for the best holiday deals. Thousands of people seem to be enjoying what I would find so stressful. They dart in between strangers, reach to grab the last prized item, stand in long lines, and melt into a humanity of people on a quest for what they don't have and want to give... all in celebration of the holiday of peace...

I marvel at their ability to smile through it all.. how they seem to enjoy the rush.. and wonder why I have no desire to join them.. I would rather shop online or at a small mom & pop store in a smaller city downtown area for the one of a kind gift..

I wonder how black Friday became a tradition.. I understand our economy depends on it... I am grateful to those willing to step up and shop creating the needed economic indicators... I salute them all with my second hot cup of coffee cuddled comfortably in my favorite chair!

Intimate Strangers

We are crowded in an elevator facing a metal door, we stand behind each other with baskets in a check out line, we sit in a crowded doctor's waiting area, we stand with baggage through security lines... waiting... spending moments or hours together but politely isolated... who are these people I have spent so much time with... who are those taken off balance by a smile and suspicious if a comment is made.. who clutch their bag more tightly if a movement accidentally places us too close... I suppose I will have to wait to know..

Southwest Airlines A - B - C

Southwest Airlines offers "A" seating where the passenger is allowed to board the plane first. In this initial group there is the best chance that you will get premier sitting of your first choice and have a comfortable trip to your destination. What gives me cause to wonder, though, is when the fellow passengers, who will be joining me in the 2 hour trip, will stand in the "A" line for 2 hours to ensure they have the very first choice in comfortable seating for the 2 hour flight.... it just makes me wonder...

Breaking the Thundering Silence

Have you ever been in a situation where the silence was deafening? I have found in those situations a gentle gesture or touch or kind act speaks louder than words and eases the transition back to healing communication.